Escape From Paradise: Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses and the Watch Tower after thirty-five years of lost dreams by Talon Brock

Author:Talon, Brock [Talon, Brock]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw
Publisher: Brock Talon Enterprises
Published: 2015-01-08T16:00:00+00:00

God's House of Blues

By twenty years of age, I came to realize that getting baptized hadn't solved anything for me. The model was supposed to be Jesus Christ Himself who had the Holy Spirit come out of heaven and land on Him when He got baptized. The Watchtower magazine said that God's Holy Spirit would land on me too. No, I didn't expect the Spirit to be shaped like a dove, or to hear a voice come from heaven, but I did expect that after my baptism God's Holy Spirit would change things for me. I thought I would get help and guidance to make me more spiritual.

That simply didn't happen.

I was the same immature guy with the same problems and emotions as before. No amount of praying helped either. What the heck was wrong with me? After describing my inner conflicts to my cool friend Brother Jazzy, he responded by asking me straight out if I was masturbating. I was a little shocked by the question, but I figured that since he knew I had given up sex with worldly women, he was just curious about how I was handling it. Little did I know at that time there was a darker reason for him asking me about this.

I answered him hesitantly, "Um, sure, I whack off from time to time, doesn't everyone?" Brother Jazzy laughed at that, but said I needed to "get hold of myself" if I really wanted to remain "clean before Jehovah's eyes" so as to receive His full blessings. Brother Jazzy then informed an elder about "my problem," and they both began to regularly question me and pray with me about "my progress" in this matter.

While I appreciated the concern, the entire issue was quite embarrassing for me. As a result, I attempted to do better with "my problem" so that the questioning would go away. Really though, what young man wants two older guys in his Kingdom Hall asking him about this very private issue on a repeated basis? After some time, I fibbed by telling them, "I have the situation totally under control now. Thanks so much for your help." They were very pleased with themselves and stopped hounding me. Brother Jazzy then explained that part of the reason I was not feeling blessed, or particularly spiritual, was because it was not enough that I stop doing wrong things. He said to truly have God's blessing, I must fill the void by starting to do right things.

Thus, I began to part-time pioneer. I also decided that going to Bethel would be my ultimate goal. At this time in JW history, part-time pioneering meant that I would go out in the preaching work at least sixty hours per month. That was sort of like having a part-time job, but without any pay. In fact, pioneering actually cost me money in gas and wear and tear on my car, besides other expenses. I realized that I could not do pioneering for very long because (A) I couldn't afford to, and (B) I hated it.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.